First off, you see all this stuff online, right? “CELINE SHOP WOMEN WOMEN —-Renove as energias. Comece a vender.” Huh? What does renewing energies have to DO with buying a freaking handbag? Makes zero sense. But hey, maybe that’s just me. Marketing, am I right?
Then you get into the nitty-gritty: “READY TO WEAR WOMEN —-Compre online Cèline por R$2.200,00.” Okay, so you can buy Celine online. Good to know. R$2,200? That’s…a lot. But hey, if you got it, flaunt it, I guess. “bolsa celine besace cuir triomphe bege italiana, bolsa celine besace cuir triomphe italiana e mais.” See, I don’t even *know* what that means. Triomphe? Is that a type of leather? A style? An Italian word I should probably learn? Who knows! I just want a cute bag, not a vocabulary lesson. Honestly.
And then the United Arab Emirates gets involved? “OFFICIAL ONLINE STORE UNITED ARAB EMIRATES —-Canada Official CELINE online store.” Wait, what? UAE *and* Canada? Are they shipping from Dubai to Toronto or something? My head hurts. And LULU bag Summer 25? Summer 25?! That’s like, two years away! Are we supposed to pre-order our purses like we’re getting the next iPhone? This is getting outta hand.
“SHOES WOMEN —-Official CELINE website.” Okay, shoes too. Good. But seriously, the website copy is all over the place. It just keeps repeating about handbags and ready-to-wear. Where’s the focus, people?
Then we get a little history lesson. “Celine had a humble origin as a bespoke children’s shoe boutique.” A CHILDREN’S SHOE BOUTIQUE?! What the heck?! From little kid shoes to ridiculously expensive handbags? That’s quite the glow-up. I mean, good for them, right? But it’s kind of a weird journey, isn’t it?
